Sunday, 24 January 2016

{The Ordinary Moments 15} #4 'Life as a Four'


Nearly 3 weeks ago now, our lives were changed forever. Tuesday 5th January was the day our little family unit as we had known it for the past 2 and half years got a new member. It was the day we went from being a 3 to a 4, the day we became parents of one child to being parents of two. It was a day we will never forget- the day we met our beautiful new baby boy and the day we gave our eldest the best gift he could wish for: the gift of a sibling. 


Before Little L arrived, I tried to envisage what life would be like with two children. I spent many an hour during the latter part of my pregnancy picturing how LO would react to having a baby brother, what he would think of him and how our lives would change with having a toddler and a newborn. I think I perhaps naively thought that because LO is such an affectionate child, he would automatically accept him new brother, shower him with love and want to help out with things like bathing him and nappy changes. 

I wish I'd had some warning that this isn't necessarily how toddlers react to a new sibling, and actually the first few days were incredibly hard, with lots of meltdowns and Mr F and I feeling incredibly guilty about everything. I still feel especially guilty when I'm sitting feeding Little L and LO is sitting playing by himself waiting for me to come and play with him, although reassuringly, a lot of other mummies have said they have had this feeling too. I totally hadn't anticipated that LO would be upset by there being a new member of the family and we had some really difficult, upsetting moments. 

Looking back now I realise that it's only natural that LO felt this way. He's had our sole attentions to himself for 2 and a half years. He hasn't had to share us with anyone and no other children have used any of his things. Post-baby emotions have settled and now we realise just how normal it is for a toddler to react this way to a new sibling. We are now settling into our new life as a four, and day by day we are all adapting so much better. Of course, we are still getting used to a new 'routine', the inevitable sleepless nights, ridiculous numbers of newborn and toddler nappy changes and the constant hum of the washing machine (I've never done so much laundry in all my life!).

Over the past few days though, life has started to feel a bit more normal, almost like we have always been a four. It's tough juggling looking after a toddler and a newborn but we just slightly adapt how we go about our day. The sleepless nights have come as a bit of a shock but we know that these don't last forever, and more than anything, we are so proud of how LO has adapted to the change. It's been a very gradual change but LO is definitely getting used to having a little person around the house and I think he quite enjoys the extra company.  He will ask where his brother is when he wakes up, enjoys helping to carry his carseat

and will now give him a goodnight kiss on his forehead. He will occasionally ask to hold his hand and point out objects around the house which belong to Little L. It's only small things but it's made us incredibly proud of him. Obviously it will be a year or so before they can really play and interact together, but for now, we will take each day and each little step as it comes. And while we will still have some truly difficult moments, I know in the long run they'll grow to become true little chums. We are so thankful for our two little boys and are loving life being a little family of four. 





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2 comments

  1. Ah bless you lovely and I loved reading all about your transition to four. It sounds like LO is doing just fine with his baby brother. I have so many friends who found the transition with siblings hard. Mads was incredible from day one, but I do wonder what LL will be like as she is an entirely different personality to her sister. Only time will tell I guess, but I guess she will have Mads to look out for her too. I am glad all is going well. x

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  2. Your two boys are so gorgeous. Congratulations again on your new little arrival - I think it's great that LO is coming to terms with having a new little brother. With time they are sure to be the best of friends, and I can't wait to watch their bond develop xx

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