You may or may not have noticed my absence from my blog over the past month or so. I've posted maybe two or three times which is so unlike me, but I have had so little time to do anything, let alone write on my blog. But what I have been doing is enjoying spending lots of quality time with my two boys, and really getting to grips with having two children. Feeding took a little while to really master, but I think we've really cracked that now. He feeds on demand and in general is much more demanding than his older brother was at the same age. He loves to be held all the time and isn't keen on lying down, which can make getting things done a bit tricky, but I know from experience just how quickly this lovely newborn stage passes and how quickly they grow up, so I just want to go with the flow and absorb this time, no matter how tiring or difficult it can be.
The two weeks since Mr F went back to work after paternity leave have been quite challenging, but I am so grateful that I've had such amazing support from my mum, my youngest sister and my mother in law, who all live locally and come to help me out or just keep me company. I never realised how much more work it was to have a toddler and a newborn- I constantly feel I'm splitting myself in two and have had more than my fair share of guilty mummy moments. But while it's incredibly hard to play with LO while I'm feeding Little L, or to see to Little L as quickly as I was able to with LO when he was little, I'm quickly realising that in a matter of months, LO will love having the company of a little brother- someone he can chat to and play with, and they'll entertain each other.
I'm proud of how we are doing as a family of four- we managed a trip to Asda the day after I had Little L (albeit a disaster of a trip where LO had a total meltdown and Little L wouldn't feed). We have been on a day trip to Lincoln, and enjoyed a couple of little family outings including taking LO to soft play a few times, a trip swimming and his first trip to Hollywood Bowl and Pizza Hut as a treat for being such a kind big brother all last week. These little outings have felt really special- we have spent time as a four but equally, we have been able to give LO some extra attention when he's needed it most. I also think it's so important to get out of the house to feel 'normal'. It's easy to get bogged down in the mess and chaos at home, the endless nappies and the exhaustion at home.
In terms of Little L, he had come on so much over his first month. He has been feeding like a little trooper and put on lots of weight. His little sparrow legs are now chunky and squishy with those cute little rolls of fat which babies have. His dark and lustrous hair has started falling out like LO's did, but I'm sure it will quickly grow back. He is so alert and spends much of the day wide awake and looking around or staring at me intently. I am very much treating this time as the fourth trimester, choosing to keep him in comfy baby grows mostly. I haven't yet signed up for any baby groups (with LO I took him to every group around) and we are just taking each day as it comes, and if it means that LO, Little L and I sit on the sofa watching Paw Patrol or Thomas all day, then so be it. Having a baby in winter certainly is difficult as it has meant we can't get outside in the garden or go for long walks.
I am intrigued to see how the next month will pan out, and how Little L will grow and develop. He's already changed so much in just 4 weeks, and I just don't want to miss anything. I can get a bit fidgety and restless if the house is a mess and I'm surrounded by chaos, but I too am learning that the house work and endless laundry can wait. For me, watching Little L develop and change and seeing how the bond between LO and Little L grows is much more important. These gorgeous newborn days certainly don't last and I don't want to miss a moment of it.
A few iPhone photos from our first month...