As I write this it's 7:30 on a Sunday morning. I'm sat in bed and LO has woken up, jumped into our bed and is now sitting between us watching Toy Story 2 on the iPad. I'm surprised he woke up so early after such a late night- we went out for dinner with Mr F's parents and Grandad and a certain 2 year old had a very late night. I have been up since about 6:30 feeding our littlest and he is now sound asleep next to me in his Moses basket. I find his calm breathing very soothing and can see his little chest gently rise and fall with each breath, but as I have come to learn, I know he won't be asleep for very long and so everything is done almost in fast forward mode.
Last night was a novelty in that after each feed, he happily went back to sleep in his Moses basket without needing to be settled on our chests or sleeping in our bed with us. I think this has happened just one other time in the last 6 weeks. With a newborn, it's inevitable that we are exhausted but with each week that has passed, the nights have got a little bit easier, and I've become more used to the constant waking and feeding through the night. Little L is more needy than LO was at the same stage. I remember that we took LO on his first little holiday to Norfolk at 5 and a half weeks and it was on that holiday that he slept through the night for the first time, and since that point, he has always slept through, bar a handful of nights when he's been unwell. I think Little L is quite a way off that point, but for now, I am used to the waking up and I use it as a chance to have a bit of time to catch up with reading my favourite blogs and watching Youtube videos while feeding him, sometimes with such heavy eyes I can barely keep them open.
I really can't believe where the last 6 weeks have gone. It really it true what people say about absorbing and enjoying every second of those lovely newborn days because although they're hard, they're so lovely and don't last long. In many ways though, the time has sometimes gone slowly- with the bad weather, everyone feeling generally exhausted and me having 2 sickness bugs in a row, we have been a bit housebound. We have spent lots of time snuggled in a blanket on the sofa watching films with LO, playing with his trains and just enjoying the cosiness of our little home. We haven't really ventured anywhere particularly exciting, but we have been loving staying in and getting to know our littlest one. He loves nothing more than cuddling up on your chest and really doesn't like being put down to sleep during the day. It has made getting things done quite difficult- luckily we have an amazing family who come and help me out sometimes- playing with LO or holding Little L so I can cook, or helping bath one of them while I bath the other.
With each passing week, Little L has become more and more wakeful and more alert. His eyes focused within the first 2 weeks I think and he loves looking at faces and in particular, foreheads and I love watching his big blue eyes stare up at me. This week marked a new milestone for him- he gave us his first proper smiles- happy ones and not just those windy ones that newborns do. His whole face just lights up and I can see the first glimpses of what his personality will be like. I think that once you pass that 6 week mark, the time when they are out of newborn size clothes and feeding is established, things really do get easier. You get out of that fourth trimester zone where it's all about survival, of making it through each day and getting as much sleep as you can, to starting to venture out of the house a bit more. I can't wait for the weather to get better so that we can venture out to the park with LO and maybe in spring go on our first family weekend away together. It will do us all the world of good.
But for now, we will make the most of the bad weather and continue to hibernate in our cosy little house, spending lots of time snuggled up in bed or on the sofa enjoying cuddles with our two beautiful boys, watching films together. I think before Little L was born, I didn't realise how much adjusting it would take to go from having one child to having two. There have been some really difficult moments and it hasn't helped that it coincided with LO having a bit of a difficult "I'm two and a half, I'm going to be as contrary as possible" phase. There were even some moment where I wondered if life would ever get any easier, combined with lots of guilty mummy moments. But now at this 6 week mark, it feels like life is getting easier and we are finally settling into life as a family of four, and I can't wait to see where life takes us over the coming weeks, months and years.