Monday, 21 March 2016

{The Ordinary Moments 16} #12 'One of Those Days'


As I sit here writing this, it's late on a Monday evening and Mr F has only just got down from putting LO to bed. I am feeling so tired and I'm full of cold which I can't seem to shift. We had a bit of a disorganised afternoon, which is quite usual behaviour for us at the moment, and because of that, we didn't plan dinner, so I dashed out to the local co-op to grab us something which was quick and easy to cook- chips, burgers and beans. Not exactly healthy I know, but this is what life can be like sometimes when you have a toddler and a newborn. I have probably been a bit short of patience today, I have snapped, felt out of sorts and we have all just felt in a bit of a funny mood...


Sometimes when you have 'one of those days', the ones where everyone is a bit tired and irritable, where your toddler is in a silly mood all day, you have an Easter bonnet to make for nursery, you haven't even thought about what to make for dinner and where your baby is so far past being tired that they won't sleep a wink, you just have to take a step back, take a deep breath and look forward to tomorrow. Today really has been one of 'those days' where bedtime can't come soon enough and where I just want to crash out on the sofa, watch TV and eat a load of Mini eggs. 

Of course, not every day is like this for us but we have had our fair share in recent weeks. I think before Little L was born, I really underestimated how much harder it would be having two children than one. I think it will get easier, but for now, life with a toddler and a newborn is really hard work. I have been ill at least 3 times, and I feel I've aged about 10 years in the past 10 weeks! I think the lack of sleep is a massive contributor- on average we are still waking 2-3 times in the night, mostly around 1:30am, 3:30am and 5:30am. It has been a real shock to the system because we were well and truly spoiled by LO who slept through from 6 weeks and has done ever since, bar the odd night here and there where he's had a bad dream or been sick in the night. Little L is showing no signs of being close to sleeping through yet, and in the daytime I am craving an afternoon nap, like I did when I was pregnant. But of course, life can't simply stop in the daytime. 

I'd love to be a fly on the wall in another house with a toddler and a newborn. I always wonder how other parents cope with the general day to day things you have to get done. On the whole, I think we are coping pretty well, but there are times when I wonder whether I am giving equal time and attention to each of my boys. Am I providing enough stimulation for Little L? Does LO mind sitting watching yet another episode of Thomas while I feed Little L or while I dash around trying to get lunch sorted or get some laundry on? 

Today's mad moment came when I was trying to get LO to help make his Easter bonnet for nursery. I had gathered a few ideas from Pinterest (as you do!) and in my head, had this plan for a bonnet which I thought he could do mostly himself with help from me. I got all the necessary things ready, the glue, the glitter, feathers, those little yellow chicks and sheep, paper, card etc. and when it came to it, he wasn't the slightest bit interested in helping. Pom Poms and feathers went flying, Little L was crying his eyes out waiting to be fed, and still we had no bonnet. I probably shouldn't have such high expectations and I should probably accept that this year, maybe we should keep it simple and just stick to a perfectly acceptable cardboard headband with Easter stickers stuck on! 

Another thing which has been tough in recent weeks is that we put our house on the market about 5 weeks ago (I will be doing a separate post all about that) and so we have been trying to live in a show-home like state for 5 weeks, ready for any potential house viewers who want to come and have a nosey at our home. Inevitably, with a toddler and a newborn we haven't been able to live life without making any mess, so we have been spending so much free time tiding, cleaning and then re-tidying the house again and again, for each new potential viewer. It really is exhausting but being the house-proud person I am, I couldn't show anyone around our house without it being spotlessly tidy and clean but this has put added pressure on us as parents, at a time when we are feeling truly exhausted. 

But while life right now is really hard work, and utterly exhausting, it's also incredibly rewarding and I know how lucky we are to be a little family of four. I am learning to put less pressure on myself to do too much. I know that it really is impossible to split myself in two, so I should stop trying to do that. I know these difficult early days with the sleepless nights won't last forever and while having a little baby who won't lie down during the day makes getting anything done almost impossible, I know I should relish these moments, each and every cuddle, and just learn to accept that sometimes, it's ok to not fill our days with going to endless groups, soft play and crafty activities at home but instead to enjoy time with the three of us where we snuggle on the sofa watching the 100th episode of Thomas on repeat. And so I am learning that it's ok if the house it a bit messy, the breakfast dishes are still waiting to go in the dishwasher at 8pm and the beds aren't made, because in reality, all that can wait. 

I have always been a 'glass half empty' sort of person and a bit of a pessimist, but I want to focus less on the not so good days like today, and focus more on the better moments of motherhood. The most ordinary of moments with my two boys- I want to absorb all the small things, I want to relish every cuddle with LO and every cosy snuggle with Little L while I am feeding him. For it's these moments which I will miss the most when they are my big boys. 













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6 comments

  1. I just wanted to say that you're not alone. I have days like this every week. It's not easy at all, as rewarding as being a Mum of two is, it's often exhausting when they're so little. I feel like I'm in a tumble dryer most days. But this time will pass and I think things will start to become easier. I totally agree with you about relaxing about things a bit more. It must be hard having people come and look around you home, but you'd hope they'd understand that the house might not be spotless when they see you have a toddler and a young baby to take care of. xx

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    1. Thank you for your lovely reassuring words Alex- it definitely helps knowing I'm not the only one who is finding things a little tough sometimes. Going from 1 to 2 children has been so much harder than I imagined but equally I wouldn't change it for the world xx

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  2. I empathise with this and I only have one! One, two or all three of us has been ill almost constantly since January and the fall back of Peppa has become ever more present for us. It's totally not how I thought I'd be as a parent and that makes me feel guilty but as the quote says I can't be and never will be perfect and getting through and going into survival mode is all you can do during these times. If everyone is fed and watered and alive at the end of the day then we've survived. Hurah!! Keep going, you're doing a great job.

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    1. Thanks Emily. Ah yes good old Peppa Pig never fails to come up with the goods when she's in need! Her and Thomas the tank engine have helped keep us all sane, which is quite ironic given how intensely irritating the characters are! ;) x

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  3. You are definitely not alone lovely. Definitely not. I remember feeling like this with LL when she was a newborn and having those hard days. And I still have them now. When one, or both drive me insane. But that stage doesn't last forever, the next day everything will be easier again and I will feel so much better. Parenting is such an incredibly roller coaster of emotions. But you are doing great. x

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    1. Thank you Katie- good to hear that these tough early days do get better. As you can probably tell by how long it's taken me to get around to replying to these comments how hard I find it to get even the simplest of jobs done! But since the end of March id definitely say things have got a bit easier xx

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