{The Ordinary Moments 16} #17 'My Littlest Lad and Me'

Since having our Little L back in January, I have learnt so much more about parenting than I ever thought I'd know. Firstly, just how different it is having two children than one. It's been such a massive learning curve for me as a mummy and although I feel hugely blessed it's definitely not been the easiest of transitions and I've had moments where I've thought I could actually go totally crazy. I think I totally underestimated how tiring it would be to have a toddler and a newborn, and I also didn't think about how I would go about juggling both their different needs simultaneously. It's this juggling act which leads me to feeling that horrible feeling of mummy guilt multiple times a day, and although I'm slowly realising I'm not in fact wonder woman and cannot always possible to see to both their needs at the same time, I still can't help feeling like I'm treading water most days but of course, I know this stage won't last and it'll get easier. 

When Little L turned 3 months a couple of weeks ago, I was astonished at how quickly that time had gone by. Those 3 months went by much quicker with Little L than they did with LO I'm sure, and I think it's because with two to look after, we haven't had the luxury of time to sit and absorb the smaller details of life; the little things which can so easily go unnoticed if you don't slow down occasionally. Little L has had to just slot into our lives- with a noisy big brother who demands a lot of our attention and who has been the only child in the entire extended family for nearly 3 years.

With your first, it's all so new and exciting and you're so keen to buy every baby item, read every book and sign up for every class going. This was me all over- we did NCT classes, we went to the Mothercare baby events. I signed LO up for every class and group I could- baby yoga, baby sensory, baby massage, rhythm time, Waterbabies swimming. You name it, we did it. Looking back I was a bit over the top with it all- throughout maternity leave my weeks were filled with baby activities and endless trips to soft play but I really loved it and wouldn't have had it any other way.  

With a second baby, you often don't have time to do as many things- in between taking your older one to their own groups and seeing their friends, you have the school or nursery runs. For the past 3 months, while LO had been at nursery on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'd been using it as an opportunity to go to the shops, to do the weekly grocery shop or to just generally catch up on things at home, obviously all with Little L. It gave me and Little L a change of scene and he always had his morning snooze in his pram while we were out and about. We'd stop off at Costa for a coffee and a feed, head home for lunch and then have snuggles on the sofa. He is definitely a snuggly baby and happiest when he's being held- he's not one for being laid down to rest in the day at all. 

But when he turned 3 months, something changed. I really felt that he was missing out on doing things which were for him, rather than being constantly carted about doing things for LO or just popping around the shops with me. Maybe its because I'm a second child myself, but I didn't want him to miss out on the nice groups that LO got to experience just because he's the second child. Obviously it'd be totally impractical to do the sheer number of things which I did with LO when he was a baby, but I decided to book one of two groups on a Tuesday and Thursday morning for when LO was at nursery. I wanted to make the most of this time when LO wasn't around to have some quality time with my littlest boy too. So I booked a place on two groups I took LO to and which he really enjoyed- baby sensory on a Tuesday and Rhythm Time on a Thursday. 

Before our first sessions, I was so excited to take him- to be able to introduce him to new people, let him see other babies and to just be able to sit and interact with him properly without the distractions which all too often get in the way of having any quality time at home- no TV, no phone, no jobs. Just me and my littlest boy together. I was also really excited to re-ignite my ideas for fun activities and games to play at home with him- I always come away from baby groups feeling so inspired to try new activities and games at home with him. And already, I can see his little personality develop. He's started smiling more, giggling and just generally being more alert and interesting in things. 

Spending this quality time with him has been such a lovely thing for us to do as mummy and son together. It's our special time together, a time for him to be his own little person. It's let me give him my absolute undivided attention and he's had the space away from LO to let his own little personality develop. Of course we always have our own special time every time I feed him, especially those 3am feeds where it feels like we are the only ones in the world awake. 

But taking him to his own little groups has been one of the best things I've done since he was born. I've felt so incredibly proud to be able to show him off and to say he's mine- my heart just bursts with pride every time someone says how sweet natured he is. And he really is so sweet natured already, with blue eyes so smily and twinkly.

And while we haven't been doing our new Tuesday and Thursday routine just the two of us together for long, already I have been loving this quality time I get to spend with my littlest lad. Time when we can just be mummy and son together, enjoy our little sing songs and stories, cosy snuggles on the sofa and make lots of memories together, just like LO and I did when it was just me and him.