Tuesday, 20 June 2017

{The Ordinary Moments 17} When You're Feeling A Little Overwhelmed

For some reason, recently when I have come to write a blog post, I have really struggled with what to say. I will sometimes lie awake at night pondering about what on earth to write about because lately, in all honesty I've really struggled with ideas. I haven't been feeling especially creative and over recent months, it's felt a little quiet over on this blog of mine. I think part of it is due to the fact that since we relocated and moved house, I've really struggled with managing my time, with new routines and with getting everything sorted. It was a full on move, with a relocation to a new part of the country where we didn't have any family or know anyone, and I think it took me a few months to realise what a life changing move it was. I took for granted how hard it would be and I haven't given myself that time to adjust, to come to terms with our new life and to take time to just 'be'. 

Obviously knowing that we didn't know anyone here when we moved, I've been spending a lot of our time making the effort to take the boys to various groups, or to meet up with a few new friends, or to just spending time exploring this new area we call home now. I think for the first 6 months, we were sort of in a new house daze where it all felt quite exciting and new, and I didn't really stop and think about the scale of how life changed for us. Life really has changed dramatically and it often feels like we have started again, like we have pressed the reset button if that makes sense. I think I appear to people like I've taken it in my stride, but really, underneath, I've struggled, and that is really hard for me to admit. Even writing this now, it gives me tears in my eyes to think of how down and overwhelmed I've felt over recent months and while I've tried my best to just get on with it,  I really don't think I've taken it in my stride at all. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't regret our decision to move at all. I adore our new village and I know the boys are so lucky to get to grow up in such a beautiful place. I just can't quite put my finger on what it is that's making me feel so overwhelmed. Lack of sleep of course never helps, and both the boy's sleep routines have been up and down since moving house, which is bound to happen. I think a big part of it is that I don't feel we have got the house in good order yet. It took us forever to empty boxes and we've still yet to sort so much stuff. The loft and garage are in total disarray and I am just longing to be able to do just find the time (and money!) to do a little bit of decorating so the house feels a bit more like it's ours. 

I guess one of the most difficult things with a relocation to somewhere totally new though is not knowing anyone to call on, especially on those intense parenting days we all have where it all just gets a bit much and you want to just call on a friend for some company. Some days have felt so lonely and isolated, and I've struggled to know what on earth to do with the boys. Luckily in recent months we have started to meet a few new friends, and even to just meet up with another mummy friend once a month can make the world of difference. 

Anyhow, I guess in all my rambling, what I'm trying to say is that between these overwhelming life changes and sleep deprivation I feel I've lost my way a little with my blog. That passion for taking photos and writing has waned a little, and as such I feel a little like I've fallen off the radar a bit. We've had so much to do and felt so exhausted that after the bedtime routine palaver, we often don't get downstairs till 9pm, tidy the kitchen and all I feel like doing is having a sit down and relax to watch some TV, not sit in front of my laptop typing away or editing photos. I need to take a step back and find the time to find my mojo again, to discover the things which inspire me to take photos and to write. Blogging and social media can be really overwhelming at times, and often I think that when you're not feeling so great yourself, it can be all too easy to fall into that old trap of comparing yourself to others or to feel like you're not doing a good job of things yourself. 

Over recent months, while I haven't posted as often on my blog as much as I'd have liked to, I have been fairly busy over on my  and often write mini blog post updates on there. I have also discovered a new love for video. I have been posting to my YouTube channel for a while but never actively promoted it, so my channel is still super small. But totally bizarrely for me, I seem to find that I can talk a bit more on video when words don't seem to flow so easily when I write at the moment. I never ever thought in a million years that I'd talk face to face with a camera and I still find it quite unnatural. I am a very self conscious person anyway but I am trying to step out of my comfort zone and I do enjoy filming, editing and creating content. And so I will hopefully be doing more videos over on there. 

I'm hoping that I'll feel a little less overhwhelmed with life soon and I'll get back on it with this little blog of mine as I really do love it (most of the time). I cannot believe I've been blogging for over 3 years now. It's seen me document so many wonderful moments, both ordinary and extraordinary too, from little everyday moments, to the milestones, bump updates and my birth story for Little L, to days out, our family travel adventures and our exciting move as a family to Lincolnshire. I just need to find that elusive life balance and perhaps work out what direction I want to take this blog in. I need to get the balance of family life, of working out this new life we lead, of making our house finally feel like a home, and to make a bit more time for me. I need to take time to stop and enjoy the little wins each day, to try to feel a little less overwhelmed with it and to enjoy those precious ordinary moments. 


Linking up with Katie from Mummy Daddy Me and Donna from What The Redhead Said for The Ordinary Moments. 

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11 comments

  1. Sorry to hear that you've been struggling. I can imagine how intense and overwhelming it would have been. And I so know what you mean about how just having a chat with one friend can make a world of difference. Try not to worry about feeling a bit like you don't quite know what to say on your blog at the moment, I think we all go through times like that. I know I certainly do. But you'll bounce back when you're feeling more like everything is settling down a bit more I'm sure. You can always message me if you ever just need someone to chat to. :) Sending you big hugs, you've done so well to go through such a big change to your life! xxx

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    1. Thank you Alex for your lovely comment, it really means so much. I guess everyone goes through these moments where they feel uninspired. We've got a couple of exciting things coming up though so maybe I'll start with those and get back into it. Thank you lovely, I'd love to chat sometime. Wish we lived closer! xx

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  2. I have felt the same for a long time too, it's so hard to try and get the balance and we tend to overwork our brains I think and end up no where! All in good time x x x

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    1. It's so hard isn't it, and it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one who's felt like this. I do overwork my brain a bit sometimes- the lists are just endless! Thank you lovely xx

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  3. I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling like this, but I totally understand why. We moved house at christmas and whilst we are still in the same kind of area, we are now in a small village where everyone seems to know everyone. I'm trying to make new friends and be part of this new community we are now in, which we love. I hope that you find your feet soon and don't put too much pressure on yourself x

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    1. Thank you lovely, I know in the whole scheme of things it's really not bad at all, but I guess it can be easy to get a little overwhelmed every now and again. Our village is extremely friendly luckily, but I guess sometimes it just hits home that we have no family nearby, which does make a big difference. Thank you for your lovely words xx

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  4. It's bound to take you a while to get into the swing of things. Something always needs to give - in your case it's the blog. The blog will always be here when you need or want it. Focus on everything else for a while. Sending love x

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    1. Oh for sure, I guess I need to get better with time management as I really don't want to stop blogging as I do love it, I just wish I had more time to dedicate to it, whilst also seeing to everything else! Thanks Donna x

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  5. Aw bless you Amelia. I'm sorry you have felt like this it's completely new and overwhelming moving to a new part of the county and leaving everything behind. It can be very isolating. I wish we lived closer I would have you over for coffee anytime. I think we would have lots to chat about. You always come across so lovely and you do the best for your family. I hope you get your mojo back because I really love seeing you online. You have a beautiful family and it's really lovely to see you all getting on in your new home. Sending lots of well wishes your way and I'm always here for a chat online. xxx

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    1. Thank you for your lovely comment Tanita, it really made me smile. Would be amazing if we were a little closer I'd meet you for coffee in a flash. Hope you're doing ok and feeling well lovely xx

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